Friday, October 31, 2008

Mr. Neevers the Beaver Slayer

Hey here he comes, it's Mel Greevin Neevers
He owns 13 pelts made from 500 beavers
The most bloodthirsty trapper in the lower southwest
Killed his one and only son in a pie eating contest
He keeps mangling the skins with his bowie knife
Can't turn a profit to save his own damn life
He's always really wasteful, and he's covered with blood
Can't afford soap, so he washes in mud
This fucking guy without a pot to piss in
Was offered 3000 dollars to sit and listen
But he had no time to hear the sales pitch
Cuz he was wrasslin beavers in a drainage ditch
He killed 5 of em bastards with his sharp brown insisors
Severing corrodded arties and making blood geysers
The beavers fought back, he was getting ate like cake
The beavers were treating Ol' Mel like a Salisbury steak
He had to flee then bail on back to his village
To load up some supplies that he'd have to pillage
Held the shopkeep at gunpoint as he stole all the dyno
Stabbed the man with a horn like a albino rhino
Went back to the ditch and packed it with boom boom
Then lit the match and blew the beaves into a flamed mushroom
But he was blown to fuck too because he had to witness
His hatred of them beavers gave him lack of mental fitness
Legend says he was reborn as some blocks of wood
And beaver's continue to gnaw him, as they rightly should

"That's a story about Karma folks" Did I just blow your mind?

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